If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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