Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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