wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
