We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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