Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize