Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
honey bunches of taint.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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