We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
