question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
