Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
