Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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