The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
