this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
