you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
