I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
