is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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