If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
