I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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