Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
