my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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