Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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