READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
