if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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