He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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