how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
