hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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