you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
