its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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