Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
