It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
