I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
