I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
