Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
