I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
