Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
