In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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