You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
