the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Are we still banned from the library?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
