You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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