And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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