Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize