So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
