there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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