i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
