i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
A bitchslap is in order.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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