Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
