dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
