so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
