Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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