sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
