you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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