If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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