You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
