How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize