I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
