I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
